Its Nice To See Me Again
I walked in right after she had calmed down to the point where she was drifting back to sleep and just stood over her and cried. She looked up at me and then jumped up, screamed and said “OH NO NOT AGAIN” then screamed for the comforts of her mother’s embrace. I grabbed her arm and said “SHHH I am not going to hurt you, I just wanted to come and reflect on things again to confirm what I now understand.” She looked up at me with confusion and said “who are you? You look like I know you. Am I dreaming again? Look I am only three years old and still haven’t figured out what I can only see and what everybody else can see.” I smiled and said “Oh boy don’t I know that’s the truth.” I knelled down next to her bed and said “Nice to see you ShanayaZalam, I am you just twenty seven years later as ShanayaNour.” She sat up and said “How can that be? You do kinda look like me just taller.” I laughed and said” Yeah, I kinda wanted to revisit my past and talk with who I used to be in order to confirm where I am headed. I even wrote a book about our life entitled Nothing is What It Appears To Be which I am working on getting published now.” She opened her beautiful brown eyes real wide and said “oh wow a book I like books, Big Bird is my favorite, well did you write about those monsters I saw last night?” I smiled and said “yeah I know that was hard, I remember. You or I, I should say was sleeping on the couch and woke up to see a bunch of people that looked quit strange circling around the living room chanting something. One of them came up to me picked me up and took on the shape of my mother. Then all of a sudden scared the crap out of me, he started shedding his skin and showing me his skeleton face and bones like some type of sick illusion that I couldn’t escape from. I jumped out of his arms that felt cool like menthol or something and ran for my mother who told me it was just a dream but you and I know it wasn’t just a dream because I wasn’t sleep. Little ShanayaZalam jumped in my arms and said “Oh My God you are really me, only I could have known that.” I put her back in her bed, laid her down and said “of course I am you, how else would we have the same face.” I tucked her back in her bed and she said” Who were those people and why do I only see people around that no one else do? I smiled and hugged her and said “Well it’s something you will be able to explain to the world when you get a bit older. There are a lot that most people are unaware of and for some reason God has made you and many others out there able to see what is normally hidden.” She looked at me strange and said “but they are not hidden I can see them, sometimes they look ugly but sometimes they are nice.” I smiled and said “I know they are considered to be jinn; some people consider them to be spirits. Not everyone can see them only who God has chosen but they do live with us on this earth and affect most people whether they know it or not; most in a bad way but some in a good way, they are testy creatures.” She looked at me baffled and I just sighed and said “Don’t worry about all of this right now, trust me you will know the truth and be certain enough to inform many people about them, Just remember that you are not crazy and your mother is your best friend.” She smiled and said “I know but I am scared, all the time I see strange things but mommy says I am dreaming or imagining it.” I said “I know but she will believe you one day soon don’t worry your only three and have a long way to go.” She stretched her arms and said “mommy is coming are you gonna stay for breakfast? She probably will make us some eggs.” I laughed and said “I know we love eggs but no I have to go and you probably won’t remember me after I leave because nothing that has happened can be changed but I will pop in to check on you and have moments of reflection if that’s OK with you.” She said “OK but why won’t I remember you if we are the same person?” I said “because what has been written can never be changed and if you remember me and all that I have been through you will try to avoid all the obstacles that helped you get to where I am at now, you will understand one day. And oh enjoy your eggs.” She waved goodbye and then I saw my mother walk in the room and say to little ShanayaZalam “Oh good morning, so you are up. What do you wanna eat for breakfast?” Shanayazalam said “eggs and cheese ma.” My mother laughed and said “I don’t know why you love eggs so much, OK.” I stepped out the room and was back in the present sitting in my apartment in December 2014 laughing because I can’t believe how far I have come and all that I have been through and how much I love little ShanayZalam for being so strong and never giving up even when times was hard. I promised myself to visit her often and have moments of remembrance with her to serve as a reminder of what’s important and how much farther I have to go. It’s not easy walking a road less traveled and going through things that are normally hidden because even the most intelligent person can’t explain things. I am so grateful to understand and hope to always remember where I have been to be clear on where I am going.
To Be Continued Of Course……..